Recovery

 With my new focus on running, I've learned a lot about the importance of letting your body recover after a run. Without allowing yourself to rest and regroup, you run the risk of injury which only holds back your training. I've also thought of this in the sense of my personal life as well. Mending a broken heart can be so difficult. There are so many questions and what if's, all the while trying to come to the realization that you will never know because you can't control how others feel. I have found peace in knowing that I did everything I could to make a relationship work and that is all that I have control over. It can even be confusing when the other person tries so readily to continue a friendship. I just don't understand how you can truly be a friend when a person has given up on making you a priority in their life. How do you build a friendship on that?

 I think people find their peace in different ways when they go through difficult times. Friends and family are terribly important in these situations, but the decision of your head and heart to move on is something you have to do on your own. I feel like I've fought a war in some ways. I can honestly say that I didn't recognize myself at the end of it all.  Yet seeing how I've come out of it and what I've learned, I can't be disappointed. I've learned what I really want and really deserve from another person. I've learned that I love myself, and I need to trust my instincts when something doesn't feel right. I've learned that I want someone that I can be my silly self around, as the quote from Sex and the City states "...to find someone to love the YOU that YOU love." It has taken me a while to admit this because it is tough to realize that something you put so much of yourself into didn't deserve it. But now I can even laugh about some of the things that happened. One of my dearest friends told me that, if my life was a romantic comedy(if only!), this situation would merely be the speed bump on the way to the happy ending.

Now I joke that I've gotten the cheapest therapy possible. From wonderful friends listening time and again to my thoughts to Pinterest to some of my favorite songs and books, I've found some wonderful words that have also helped me to understand what I should be feeling as I let go of the hurt and try to realize that I should be excited that it might be the next person I meet that fits me in all of the right ways. And if the next person I meet doesn't end up to be that right person, then I also know that I can survive that. It is amazing how a little time can change the way you see things. I wouldn't say I'm over things completely, but I'm happy with where I am now and where I'm going. I'm happy to feel like me again. Again, I'll say how blessed and loved I feel at this moment, as that has been one of the silver linings of this crap sandwich of a situation. But I've learned, as with my ventures in running, that a clear head and allowance of recovery will help you to heal and go further than you ever thought you might.

“Look, I'm going to find a way to be happy, and I'd really love to be happy with you, but if I can't be happy with you, then I'll find a way to be happy without you.”
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture 

 

 “All my adult life I've felt drawn to ask long-married couples how they were able to stay together. All of them said the same thing: "We worked hard at it.”
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture 

 

 I think your heart grows back bigger, ya know, once you get the shit beat out of you, and the universe lets your heart expand that way ‘cause that’s the function of all this pain and heartache that you go through, and you gotta go through that to come out to a better place.

 

 True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does.

 

 "No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice" 

 

 

If someone wants to be a part of your life they'll make an effort to be in it so don't bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay..

  "You are responsible for how you feel no matter what someone does to you. Remember, you are always in control of your thoughts so choose to feel confident and adequate rather than angry and insecure."

 

“‎There comes a time in your life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all life is too short to be anything but happy.” 

  “Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

 It took a while for her to figure she could run, but when she did, she was long gone, long gone....